I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
