He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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