You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
