..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Another day, another engagement, another cat
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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