The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
