I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
