Who did Billy Mays play for?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
