Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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