Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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