it was like his penis was on wheels.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
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