Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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