hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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