I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
