no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
PANTIES FOUND
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
