some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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