Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
