I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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