It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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