Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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