I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize