her vagine was all disorganized.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
