was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
