am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
