Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
handjob tips. give me some.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
