no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize