If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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