Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
