that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
it's great music for shaving your balls
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
