Whatcha textin bout Willis?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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