i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
