I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
This is my gift to your gina
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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