You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
