Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
