Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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