Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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