things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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