He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
this just has baby written all over it
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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