yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
