you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I just gargled with NyQuil
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
