Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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