i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
