at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Randomize
