meet me or not, i'm out of control
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
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