lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
