what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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