Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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