i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
