you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Randomize
