Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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