every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
