Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
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