her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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