If i come over, it means nothing
I bet he comes in French.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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