Nicole vs. Life
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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