is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
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