We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize