Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
