No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
