Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
