made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
