I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I have feelings that need drinking.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
