Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Randomize
