I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
